Mental health, Parenting

Ugly Truth 30: Today My Son Was Diagnosed

Dear Readers, Today, I fell to tears on my way home from work after a losing sleep battle at 5am, chronic pain, and the challenge of another trying day for my son. Today, Zachary was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Today, I grieve for my son; for the way things will always be harder for him, for the way he can not yet apply insight toward his behavior, for the friends and caregivers who will misunderstand him and unwittingly make things worse, for the way he covers his ears when noises are too loud, for the way his IQ soars but his social life suffers, for the way I fiercely attempt to guard his self-esteem, for the way I fear I wont be vigilant enough, for those who will and do pressure us into difficult decisions, for the way he severely grapples to regulate his emotions, for the songs he sings that so many will mishear, for the constant redirection of a conformist society, for the way his intelligence will always lend itself to his awareness that he is different. If you don’t believe in these diagnoses, do me a favor and keep your opinion to yourself. I can assure you our pain as a family is very real, but it is not unattended. Zachary has received hundreds of hours of counseling, various therapies, behavior intervention plans, the benefits of countless round table committee meetings by his cheerleaders, and accommodations as his progression and challenges fluctuate. For now, I will have to rest in the years of education and instinct I have invested in. I will have to rest in the competence of the team, physicians, teachers and loving family that surround him. For now, I will have to rest in the knowledge that even when I am imperfect, I am enough. Final Summation: The ability to comfort yourself is invaluable. **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!
Mental health

Ugly Truth 021: The Hidden Symptoms of PTSD

“PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.” –Susan Pease Banitt Dear Readers, I was diagnosed with PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, in 2014. While it explained so much, it also left me with more questions than answers. The consequences of traumatic experiences on the mind are visceral and despite common misconception, not isolated to Veterans of war. When I began to dig my heels into real trauma work, I learned just how relative and complex this disorder can be as no two people experience it the same way. Some people are survivors of one major traumatic life event, while others have many. I fall into the latter category, making the recovery process that much more challenging. Much of this disorder includes managing symptoms by understanding their roots and the dynamics of intense fear. The media has done a great service to this population by highlighting things like agitation and mood swings in major motion pictures; however, there is more to unearth about this disorder. Below you will find the less well known symptoms of PTSD in the spirit of offering additional support and resources to those in need. Depersonalization ➡️ Emotional, physical or cognitive detachment from one’s surroundings or sense of self. Feelings or unreality. Nightmares ➡️ Intense graphic dreams of horror with reoccurring themes of traumatic events, feelings of helplessness, harm or entrapment. Avoidance ➡️ Avoiding people, places or things that remind the person of traumatic events often including crowds, particular sights, sounds or smells. Hypervigilance ➡️ Heightened reaction and intolerance toward light, sound, verbal conflict or physical touch. Inappropriate Guilt ➡️ Feelings of worthlessness or regret surrounding the circumstances of one’s trauma, often including convictions that the situation could have been handled differently. Flashbacks ➡️ Sensations of time travel, hallucination and confusion including loss of the present moment and physical, emotional and/or auditory sensory experiences related to past traumatic events. Migraines ➡️ Trauma-related headaches including tension, chronic pain and nausea. Treatment Options Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: CBT focuses on challenging and changing unhelpful cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems. Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing is a form of psychotherapy in which the person being treated is asked to recall distressing images while generating one type of bilateral sensory input, such as side-to-side eye movements or hand tapping. If you or someone you love is struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, please know you are not alone and help is available. PTSD Help Guide: Symptoms, Treatment and Self-Help for PTSD **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!
Mental health, Relationships

Ugly Truth 020: Change is Good

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” –Leo Tolstoy
Dear Readers, Welcome back to Deskraven, your mental health home! In today’s Ugly Truth post we are learning how the dynamics of change can be complex, but ever important in terms of self-development. If you know me personally, or have read any of my previous posts, you know I have not been shy about my struggles. I understand the personal and professional risk I take by telling the truth, however the benefit of diminishing mental health stigma and comforting others is worth every moment of glaring discomfort in the unmasking. This week a deep dark depression was scratching at my door and while I often pride myself in my ability to cope, I soon found myself in the depths of crying spells, incongruent thoughts, and hopelessness. When internal events take place, namely mood shifts, I often internalize while trying to rationalize what is happening by being logical, isolating and inventive. Still, even I can fall short of the very message I so often send to others: Know when to ask for help. Communication is a master key in the game of life. It is so important whether you have a mental illness, or just want to maintain healthy relationships. Half the battle is knowing what you need, the other half is asking for it. I am an inherently passive individual. Usually this serves me well in terms of tolerance and conflict avoidance, however when it comes to communication, passivity can prolong suffering and even lead to resentment. A lot of the time my depressive episodes are chemical requiring nothing more than self care and a waiting period, but sometimes they are circumstantial. It is the circumstantial kind that really require the most work, including the concept of change mentioned earlier in this post. Viewed in this light, depression becomes something of a riddle. Therefore, solving the riddle becomes a reasonable course of action to lessen depression and demonstrate self responsibility. When my tears dried up it dawned on me that I needed change. I learned change can be as big as a new career, or as small as a new haircut. All I knew for certain was that things were not working for me the way they were. If you or someone you love is struggling, be encouraged by the notion of change. When you find yourself suffering you must examine the phenomena to get to the whys and find resolution. The answer may be a painful one, or it may be simpler than you realized. The important thing to remember is that happiness is something to be looked after. You are responsible for being proactive in all areas of your health because internal experiences are forever solitary ones, and no one can do it for you. If you are unhappy in your relationship, talk about it. If you are miserable at work, seek out alternatives. If you are in need, ask for help. Change is scary and can create good stress, but ask yourself if complacency is keeping you pinned to the ground. Ask yourself if finding a way to create movement in your life will bring relief. **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!
Mental health

Ugly Truth 019: I Feel Like I Have No One

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

Dear Readers,

Despite all the advocating I do for others, I often feel isolated by my own chaos. Loved ones offer words of comfort and well-meaning friends, but the only one who can ever know your truth is you. Insofar, despair remains an endlessly solitary experience.

I want for just one reliable family member to take care of me when I feel like I’m bottoming out. Crisis intervention and medication are not going to stop me from being overwhelmed from a functional stand point from the chronic pain and psychological symptoms of my daily struggle. Stress is the worst possible thing for my health. I just keep pushing and pushing, and it makes me dangerously impulsive as I begin to flail desperately, dying to escape. Even when I try to proactively create change for myself, I feel like I am failing.

The truth is, I want to be taken care of for once in my life. I want someone to kiss me and promise me everything will be okay. I want to believe them.

**If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!**

For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide!

In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

Mental health

Exploring Disability: Facing Mental Health Discrimination

WORKPLACE DISCRIMINATION

If you have ever suffered from a long-term, short-term, or sudden psychological ailment, it is highly likely you are no stranger to facing discrimination in the workplace. When an employer inquires about your health, the right to disclose your condition (or not) is yours alone. Certainly, there are pros and cons to both scenarios. However, there remains a stark contrast between what should be, and the hard reality we all may come to face at least once in our lifetime.

Should you choose to disclose your mental health condition to a potential employer, you alleviate the stress of having to force an acceptable level of functioning, explain away any oddities, or any brief dishonesty that may come along with it. Likewise, you open a pathway for meaningful dialogue that may produce credibility and longevity in your role. This can also contribute to reducing stigma and assumptions surrounding other-abled populations. However, should you choose to withhold this information, you may have the luxury of a avoiding a harsh and unkind response, up to and including termination. Despite the fact that discrimination is perfectly illegal, and companies have incentivized job seekers by offering promises of integration and acceptance (these are the optional disability, gender, ethnicity, and veteran status check boxes you see on many job applications), many employees still experience intolerance when disclosing their mental illness. One may also experience the sensation of being squeezed out of a position through means of indirect but excessive discomfort at the hands of an employer.

SOCIETAL DISCRIMINATION

While the globe continues her awareness campaigns and demand marches, truly altering a societal mindset takes decades and must be a slow gentle progression. No one likes to be force-fed a brand new belief system. In the meantime, many of us with mental health conditions in the workplace continue to suffer either in silence, unapologetic ignorance, or abuse. Other than the obvious subjective nature of cognitive impairments, I believe the greatest misconceptions related to mental illness are understanding limitations and age.

So many people find mood disorders, stress disorders, anxiety and psychosis to be an excuse due to the fact that there will be periods of symptom dormancy. That is, some days are better than others and even when the hard days completely meet the criteria for disability, countless people ground their skepticism in periods of normalcy.

This is a mistake.

The reason conditions such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are qualifiers for supplemental support is due to their nature of general unpredictability. That is, turbulent mood swings, inexplicable crying spells, delusional paranoia, and terrifying psychosis paired with the extreme psychological and physical (yes, I said “physical”) suffering of the patient. Second to that, if someone is 28 years old than surely they should be in the prime cognitive and physical condition of their life, right? (Insert insensitive ignorant remark here.) This simply does not apply to mental illness because, as true irony would have it, clinical diagnosis does not discriminate. This sudden shift in social display and dramatic disruption to conventional performance given one’s age and the presence of an invisible illness is what makes some people unreliable employees, and yet, employers often become enraged and confused by these shortcomings.

PERSONAL DISCRIMINATION

In my personal experience, I have traveled both the path of disclosure and non-disclosure. I will tell you I prefer the truth for two reasons.

1.) Any relationship, employment or otherwise, that begins at the seat of omission will certainly create more stress and will almost always result in a complete disintegration of the opportunity altogether.

2.) If I am going to thrive and be successful in any role, I will do so as my genuine self and nothing less. I will be accommodated (or dismissed).

I will not apologize for my trembling hands or the fact that I forgot everything you just said to me the moment you finished (if I even heard it at all). I will not be the subject of ridicule or shame due to another person’s inability or unwillingness to accept my condition due to the very obligation a self-proclaimed integrated society affords me.

SYSTEMIC DISCRIMINATION

Perhaps most heartbreaking, discrimination exists even from within the national programs designed to protect these populations.

You must demonstrate your limitations to the court, but not so to fall into a trick question or diminish your credibility.

You must show that you can care for your children in a legally competent and unharmful manner, as well as the inability to find or keep a job.

You must collect and produce your medical history in a way that is substantial enough to satisfy the definitions, but also maintain a respectable level of care for yourself to show that you are actively engaged in self-help.

You must work limited hours in a skilless role or not at all, and demonstrate multiple failed attempts to work.

While unable to provide an income for yourself, you must wait anywhere from 3 months to 2 years (or more) to receive your acceptance (or denial) letter.

In the event of an appeal, you must produce a lawyer to promote your credibility as a witness and help the judge weed out those milking the system.

It is a long arduous journey to receive the benefits promoting social security even though many of us have paid in ten years or more before becoming disabled, and even when we actively demonstrate limited assets, resources, and a considerably compromised quality of life.

Whether we face mental health discrimination from an employer, a friend or family member, or the state- it does not come without vital consequence, including the influx of resource utilization that occurs by failing to properly support those with major progressive and degenerative illness.

So, when we can’t win at home or at work, how do we keep from falling through the cracks?

**If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!**

For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide!

In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!