chronic pain

Ugly Truth 63: Why I Haven’t Been Writing (Again)

“People assume you aren’t sick
unless they see the sickness on your skin
like scars forming a map of all the ways you’re hurting.” -Emm Roy, The First Step

Dear Deskraven Readers,

Here’s the short version. I’ll write out the details in a full blog post later. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time. If you’d like to write for Deskraven please email me at!

I have a kidney stone that is 3mm at the mid pole of my left kidney. I also have an ovarian cyst that is 2.7cm on my left ovary. Ovarian cysts are a symptom of Endometriosis. The cut off for surgery is 2.5cm.

My birth control has made me anemic as I have been actively bleeding for 22 days, so I will discontinue. I have one more trial in me, so I will try one more method of birth control before resorting to exploratory surgery. The only way to definitively diagnose Endometriosis is surgery. Endometriosis occurs when scar tissue grows on the outside of the uterus and effects the nearby organ systems. That tissue compresses nerves in the pelvis that extend down into the legs.

Meanwhile, my pain management doctor increased my Cymbalta to 2x daily to counteract the hormonal imbalance that the birth control caused. Follow up in one month where we will also increase my Gabapentin. Both Gabapentin and Cymbalta operate as nerve blockers.

I’m grateful to finally be getting answers though. My spinal specialist is phenomenal. I told him he will find THC in my urine and he didn’t break up with me. More to follow.

Thank you for all of your love and support. This is hard. ♡