Mental health, Relationships

Ugly Truth 020: Change is Good

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” –Leo Tolstoy
Dear Readers, Welcome back to Deskraven, your mental health home! In today’s Ugly Truth post we are learning how the dynamics of change can be complex, but ever important in terms of self-development. If you know me personally, or have read any of my previous posts, you know I have not been shy about my struggles. I understand the personal and professional risk I take by telling the truth, however the benefit of diminishing mental health stigma and comforting others is worth every moment of glaring discomfort in the unmasking. This week a deep dark depression was scratching at my door and while I often pride myself in my ability to cope, I soon found myself in the depths of crying spells, incongruent thoughts, and hopelessness. When internal events take place, namely mood shifts, I often internalize while trying to rationalize what is happening by being logical, isolating and inventive. Still, even I can fall short of the very message I so often send to others: Know when to ask for help. Communication is a master key in the game of life. It is so important whether you have a mental illness, or just want to maintain healthy relationships. Half the battle is knowing what you need, the other half is asking for it. I am an inherently passive individual. Usually this serves me well in terms of tolerance and conflict avoidance, however when it comes to communication, passivity can prolong suffering and even lead to resentment. A lot of the time my depressive episodes are chemical requiring nothing more than self care and a waiting period, but sometimes they are circumstantial. It is the circumstantial kind that really require the most work, including the concept of change mentioned earlier in this post. Viewed in this light, depression becomes something of a riddle. Therefore, solving the riddle becomes a reasonable course of action to lessen depression and demonstrate self responsibility. When my tears dried up it dawned on me that I needed change. I learned change can be as big as a new career, or as small as a new haircut. All I knew for certain was that things were not working for me the way they were. If you or someone you love is struggling, be encouraged by the notion of change. When you find yourself suffering you must examine the phenomena to get to the whys and find resolution. The answer may be a painful one, or it may be simpler than you realized. The important thing to remember is that happiness is something to be looked after. You are responsible for being proactive in all areas of your health because internal experiences are forever solitary ones, and no one can do it for you. If you are unhappy in your relationship, talk about it. If you are miserable at work, seek out alternatives. If you are in need, ask for help. Change is scary and can create good stress, but ask yourself if complacency is keeping you pinned to the ground. Ask yourself if finding a way to create movement in your life will bring relief. **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

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