Mental health

Ugly Truth 008: Spoon Theory is Real

Do not try and bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth…there is no spoon. Then you’ll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. – The Matrix Dear Readers, This week, I did something kind for someone else at the expense of myself. Perhaps this is why kindness is so rare, because it does indeed come at a cost. The truth is, Spoon Theory deeply applies when you have a chronic illness, even in the face of intrinsically motivated choices. If you’re not familiar with the idea, Spoon Theory is a disability metaphor that suggests you are allowed a fixed number of spoons each day in terms of energy, and you must decide carefully how to spend your spoons. Likewise, when they are gone, they are gone. When you have a health condition of any kind, you must divy up your time in a strategic way so as to ensure your most basic needs are met. This may be in the form of a shower, cooking, cleaning, socializing or working. Once fatigue sets in, you’re out of moves for the day. This is why you’ve might of heard me say, “I’m out of spoons.” Currently, I work as a Caregiver to a family with great needs. They are good people who have entrusted me to help them. Having worked in the industry for ten years I have come across all types of people. So far I have learned that I am passionate about helping those with a legitimate need, rather than a convenience of good wealth. I am someone who craves work with a purpose, but even I have my limitations. Still, I pushed through an act of kindness this week and not only was it recognized, but rewarded. Naturally, I suffered physically for my efforts, but at the end of the day I felt good about this small victory. After a blundering week of tears and losses, I had some wins to be accounted for. I find relief in assigning pain a function. Suffering allows compassion and unconditional love. The truth is, reciprocity is the key when achieving kindness through sacrifice, and we must share our spoons wisely. When was the last time you lifted a burden for someone else? Additional Reading: The Surprising Risks of Being Nice, The StartUp **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

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