Mental health

Trauma Confession Series: The Letter

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
Michael J. FoxDear Readers, In my previous post Trauma Confession Series: Confronting Abuse, we discussed the importance of taking back power and the tough-love approach as an abuse survivor. As promised, I took the time to pen a few words of harsh truth for my perpetrators. I have yet to decide when I will actually send it, and will likely alter it a bit more. I place value in the short and simple, assuming these type of people seldom find the time to read – or genuinely give a shit about what I have to say. So I will not pour my heart into it, for it would only be a gift wasted. Instead, I choose facts. For those of you who have followed along these past few weeks, asked questions, or contacted me as a result of my work – I want to express my most heartfelt gratitude. You’ve offered a warm response to the most honest series I’ve ever written. I remain humbled, aware and empowered by it. The Letter
I want you to know that I am healing from trauma as a direct result of the things you did to me as a child. The next step is confrontation and resolution. So I have decided to tell you, and the world, in words. I want you to know that you hurt me. I want you to know that you objectified a child. I want you to know that I haven’t forgotten. I want you to know it caused a decade of self loathing and poor choices resulting in near death experiences. I want you to know that I know that I am not the only one. I want you to know your behavior is unacceptable, and does not go unnoticed. I want you to know that your selfishness cost me 15 years of therapy, multiple hospital stays, and psychotropic medication. I want you to know your lack of acknowledgment hurts more than the abuse. But also – I want you to know I’ve put the work in, and you can’t hurt me anymore. I want you to know that you should keep your hands to yourself. I want you to know I seek to forgive you, but it hasn’t happened yet. I want you to know I found strength in suffering. I want you to know I found restoration in self love. I want you to know I found solace in self care. I want you to know that I chose to break the cycle with my children. I want you to know that you will suffer isolation as a consequence, and these words as a reminder. For additional reading on confrontation and boundaries when recovering from trauma visit Confronting an Emotional Abuser, Psychology Today Other posts in the Trauma Confession Series in order of appearance: Overcoming Avoidance (my story) Love After Abuse (my relationship) Mourning (my grief) When Trauma Work Wakes Other Sleeping Monsters (my diagnoses) Confronting Abuse (my decision) **If you’re a mental health survivor or mental health provider and want to tell your story – please email me at contact@deskraven.com!** For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

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